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The girl’s bathroom is usually inaccessible due to the vast amount of whores crowded in there taking pregnancy tests. It’s hard to fathom how all these balls ugly girls got knocked up, especially since every guy who attends Cape High is a [raging homosexual]. It is not rare to walk down the hall and see multiple gay orgies taking place.

When it comes to sports and extracurriculars, the Cape guys excel at taking balls fast and hard to the face. Cape High isn’t all bad though. For example their band is number one when it comes to playing the African skin flute. [Quite] an [accomplishment] for the dim-witted inbreds who attend this school.

The trick among guys at Cape High to “[getting big] fast” is to wear tight shirts. These shirts are usually pink and from Hollister and they most certainly do not make them look buff. They look like a bunch of fat cocks that are too stupid to purchase a top which fits correctly. It’s probably a good thing they are too fucking stupid to think of using steroids as a means to get big. They already have infant sized testicles and can not afford for them to become any smaller.

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