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Remism

Remism is the religion in which the beliefs revolve solely around unicorn foetus tears.

It was [discovered] in the late 13th century, when Remmy McRem drank some unicorn foetus tears and miraculously became disabled.

He shrank from 6 ft 3 to 3ft 5, and could not, no matter how hard he tried, stop his tongue from hanging outta his mouth

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESHT is the mantra which Remists repeat [over and over] when meditating.

In the annual holiday of Remmadan, the religious dish of Raisingreenscrote is eaten whilst grating Shaze. Afterwards, Remists play a game called brown the mince.

They take it in turns to snort bits of raw meat through a straw – the winner gets to eat some cabbage dipped in unicorn foetus tears.

Presents can be given on this holiday, which goes back to when Remmy McRem was given an alpaka called Gary to ride to his auntie's brothel to get some soup because he couldn't cook because he was disabled REMember.

There once was a man named Remmy,
Who woke up and he had a semi,
He played with his chode,
then he [shot his load],
And fed it to [the children] from Denny.

This is holy scripture of Remists, they read it every tuesday which is known as Remday. Between the hours of 3pm and [7pm].

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