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Cry-Wanker: A man who has befriended a large number of [attractive] women, yet is simply unable to seduce any of them (which in turn causes him to cry whilst [masturbating]). Also know as 'a-shoulder-to-cry-on', Cry-Wankers masquerade as 'nice-guys' in order to obtain a female's trust. As a result, Cry-Wankers are perceived to be non-threatening and are allowed close proximity to their 'friends', enabling them to warn said friends of other, more competent males. Cry-Wankers are often coy and deceptive individuals, who lack the confidence to approach women in an ordinary manor. Due to this, they begrudgingly build long-standing [friendship] with women, in the hope that their targets will one day view them in a sexual nature. Thus, the Cry-Wanker able to masturbate normally, with a smile upon his face.
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