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... is to sport like riverdance is to the performing arts. Yes, it does take some skill, they don't use their arms AND it is incredibly boring. Also known for - players taking [melodramatic] dives to get a penalty - curing insomnea - having only 3 real rules, one of which no-one can actually explain (off side) - fans who start riots Thank God for William Webb Ellis, the first soccer player to realise how stupid the game was and picked up the ball. If you want to keep a ball [in the air] for 10 minutes, buy a hackeysack. That's as relevant to playing soccer as spinning a basketball on one finger is to [playing basketball]. It's not all bad. After all, without soccer, there'd be no "soccer mums" and you know you like them !
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