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Tartan for twats. Disgusting brown check-patterned clobber worn by tasteless morons (see townie) who live in shabby provincial towns like Staines, Basingstoke, and Plymouth, listen to mind-numbing dance/garridge/rap music, and hang around shopping centres in groups of about 27 (like their idols, Blazin' Squad) so they can safely beat up and rob anybody sporting long hair, jeans, and a Nirvana t-shirt "cos they're queer, innit!" Most members of the 'burberry massive' (regardless of sex) wear a cheap imitation type of burberry purchased at the local market for a fiver - if its the genuine article, [you know] its been stolen! The most common form of burberry clothing worn by the male of the species is a hideous brown-checked [baseball cap], worn at a pointed 45-degree angle, designed to [facilitate] the headbutting of lamp posts/students/goths, as well as allowing them to see where they're going when walking with their heads facing the floor (to allow the easy discharge of chewing gum, phlegm, and/or
3 litres of [White Lightening] cider. In other words, a dole monkey's prison blues!!!

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