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Mother****er, I'm awesome, no, you're not, dude, don't lie
I'm awesome, I'm drivin' around in my mom's ride
I'm awesome, a quarter of my life gone by
And I met all my friends online

Mother****er, I'm awesome, I will run away from a brawl
I'm awesome, there's no voicemail, nobody called
I'm awesome, I can't afford to buy eight-balls
And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall

[You know] my pants sag low, even though
That went out of style like ten years ago
Spose, I got the swagger of a cripple
I got little biceps, getting fatter in the middle

And lyrically I'm not the best
Physically the opposite of Randy Moss and yet
So preposterous, feel the awesomeness
The most obnoxious guest up at the sausage-fest

Oh yes, the girls are repulsed
So I hide in my hood like I'm joining a cult
I'm as nervous as my cat Ol' [Dirty Curtis]
All my writtens are bitten and all my verses are purchased

Me? I'll never date an actress, got too many back zits
Plus my whole home-aroma is cat piss
Every show I do is poorly promoted
And if [you like this] it's 'cause my [little sister] wrote it

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