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A bipodular but horrifically mutated half pig, half human. It's existence due to an experiment conducted by toy [manufacturer] bandai to create a real living, breathing toy but went terribly wrong. It determines whether you are a threat based on if you act offensively or defensively. It's only fear is [the common] horse upon which is the only way to defeat it. Baby phlangeopygs are called phlangeopyglets, they are easily culled using the remaining box from a [pepperoni pizza].
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