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Why I distrust all men, cry myself to sleep at night, feel unwelcome in my own home, & would cut my mom slack for anything. He acts like a nice parent when guests are over, or we're in public, but once we're alone, he's a maniac. A bomb always waiting to blow, he snaps at the slightest provocation. My options are to let him get away with his abuse, or to stand up for myself & get the living crap beaten out of me. We’ve only not kicked him [out of the house] because my mom was raised by an abusive father herself, so she doesn't know what it is to be treated right, & because she believes that children don't do well in single-parent households. Every time I give him another chance, he proves me wise for not having been completely open with him since I was 8 years old. He has failed at giving me the the sole thing I deserve: Unconditional love. Thanks to him, I've had to stay [in the closet] my entire life. Even when my heart was bursting at the seams with love for [the first time], at the age of 13 years old, I couldn't go to my own father for advice. Thanks to this thorough [incompetence], I've basically had to raise myself. Cherry on top: My family is wealthy, so whenever I drop even the slightest hint that I'm miserable with them, I get called a spoiled, ungrateful brat. I find this to be ironic - you would think that less fortunate people would understand even better than I do that the impact of material items on [happiness] pales in comparison to being accepted & loved...
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