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Noun: Any of a number of conditions characterized by the involuntary suspension of mental processes crucial to self-expression and/or higher reasoning. Cases of cognitive impaction can [frequently] be identified by [inarticulate] attempts at discourse, extended guttural utterances, slack-jaws and bugged out eyes on the part of the afflicted. Treatments are highly specific to each variety of cognitive impaction and range from a slap "upside" the head to a deadline in the most severe cases. Also see mental [constipation].
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