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A combination of two common football exercises. A serpentine, which requires those participating to jog across the [football field] using the [horizontal] yard lines as a path. Those doing a serpentine will start at one endzone and snake their way up five yards for each trip across the field until they've reached the other endzone. A serpentine becomes a bearsnake when combined with bear crawls. Those unlucky enough to endure the pain of a single bearsnake will experience over 1,000 yards of bearcrawling back and forth across the field. Because of the infamous difficulty of a bearsnake, the name has become a synonym for anyone who is stupid, retarded, [socially awkward], or just plain derpy. If someone calls someone else a bearsnake it means they think so lowly of the person that their mere presence inspires the same pain as one would feel from doing bearsnakes. Snakey (adj.) is used to describe people or things that possess attributes comparable to bearsnakes. It is not correct to say, "They are bearsnakey" or "They are like a bearsnake." One should exercise the use of this [word in] these situations.
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