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The Office Shark, unlike its aquatic counterpart, lives in a remote suburb of the Midwest. Unable to be self-sufficient the Shark relies on staff minnows to complete their work or be CHOMPED. Swiftly moving from cubical to cubical, Sharks have been known to bust minnows for going on Facebook, being inappropriately dressed for work, and not clocking in correctly. Known for their [condescending] behavior and back handed compliments, Sharks generally have high placement in work settings due to interoffice [relationships]. Sharks [get out of hand] at office parties, though they are supposed to be professional. The Shark is not above rigging competitions that are meant to be for minnows so that they win. Often times, being so inebriated they begin to spill office secrets, gossip, or blatantly insult minnows to their face. Many consider the Shark to be their friend, but do not be fooled, the Shark has many tricks up their fins. Sharks are very good at manipulating its minnows and often find out wrong doings through mind tricks. They sense fear, and have no problem torturing their prey. Office Sharks are found in many different locations, but generally do not fair well outside the office. If attacked by a Shark, its important to clear your [internet history], save all harassing emails and speak to HR immediately.
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