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[Definition] #1 - The stupidest [fucking cunt] living in Pittsburgh, his asshole expands to the star size of Texas and the strip of the Byzantine Empire, and when he poses for Goatsee, his anus screams Ave Maria. Definition #2 - The underside of a [typical male] testical. Commonly known for being darker than the males scrotum. When people refer to "Tessius", they often do so without realizing it. Definition #3 - The act of covering one's cock in shit and puke.
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