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A Great Place to Commit Incest & Die. Canastota is a corruption of the Iroquois Knistestota which means: "We poor [white trash] from New England are taking your land." It also means: If you're not a Lost Tribe from Rural Appalachia, You're a Lost Tribe from Rural Sicily. Canastota means, if you have teeth, you're considered to be [upper middle class] (there are no rich folks). It's hard to marry a local and not commit incest. Finally, the cemeteries are lovely! Canastota is where there is more poundage per square inch of torso than any place south of Quebec. And where the schools are so bad that even the teachers pull their kids out to send them to neighboring districts. Boxing trumps brains. High [school football] trumps grades in this depopulating suburb of Wal-Mart. Canastota is where intellect takes a U-turn and returns whence it came.
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