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Derived from "Shawshank" (i.e. "The [Shawshank Redemption]"), shankshawing is the process of slowly chipping away at a person until the [ultimate goal] is achieved. Said "goal" is usually the love/affection of a person who is already in a [relationship]. First you become their friend, their shoulder to lean on when times get tough with their partner, the person they share their secrets with - then when they suddenly become single, what do you know? You are now their #1 option. BAM - shankshaw'd.
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