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Europe's bumhole.
Lisbon was originally built on 7 hills and apart from the Portuguese, nobody gives a shit. The 7 hills are called, Maria, Pedro, PedroMariaGozalo, Maripedrazalinha, Hilliesta Grandesta, Jesus Christo and Dave. As for the language, Portuguese sounds like a retarded Spaniard trying to speak Russian. Amongst the greasy midget population popular pastimes include moaning, not working, standing around outside shops that only sell 2 types of pissy beer, [domestic violence] and stealing chickens. The highest rated tv shows are, Pimp my Donkey, Cooking with Sticks, Meu Casa Mau Casa (in this show interior designers remodel a house that has collapsed using mud and crayons) and Who want's to be a quasi millionairo? (the top prize is 15euros and nobody has ever got past the second question) The country’s football fans consider Benfica to be [the greatest] football club in the world and have not yet realised that nobody outside of Portugal has ever heard of them. FIFA rating places them 2 points below Sheffield Wednesday and 1 above England’s over 60's [womens] team. When the British Embassy recently received the results of a [questionnaire] they had given to ex pats living in the Algarve it became evident that most of them had actually thought that they had been living in a shit part of Spain. Also, Lisbon has more homeless people than a coastal town that has just been hit by a tsunami and it's female population are [required by law] to have moustaches.

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