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Any [Massachusetts] driver who abides by the driving rules of [Massachusetts] highways (128, 93, 495, 3, and the Pike, but not West of Worcester). These rules are:

1) Never use your blinker.
2) If you want to change lanes, wait until there is someone to cut off
3) The speed limit is a guideline; it is the bare minimum you should go. Ideally, you should be going about 25-30 mph above it
4) No U-Turn signs are just a suggestion, you can bang a U-ie wherever you damn well please
5) Tailgating is mandatory if there is any traffic at all
6) One hand on the wheel, one hand [on the horn]
7) If you see someone with a Yankees sticker, ride up even closer on their tail
8) Change lanes frequently

A Masshole isn't a shitty driver. He may piss you off, but he ultimately gets there faster and without crashing. It's an acquired skill

He also is probably smarter than anyone from any other state, and yet still can drink like a true Irishman

The Masshole test is simple. Go down Route 3 from Braintree to the Sagamore Bridge. If you do it in under 30 minutes, [you're a] Masshole

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