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A goalscoring machine. A 'fifty goals a season man'. With an acute eye for goal and the ability to turn a game on its head. Regarded as a [sunday league] great and battles through such obstacles as injuries and [alcoholism]. Makes Roy Keane in his prime look like [George Michael] crying at the end of Dreamgirls. Has an extremely large head and defies gravity with every jump. His nickname is Nasa. Infact Nasa are researching his head and they are hoping to create a man made fibre, equal to that of his head, to build there space ships with. A real laugh when he's not barred from the Park Inn and never afraid of Mary The Lesbo! Has had more fights than Sugar Ray Robinson and less wins than Audley Harrison. Stole a packet of juicy fruit last week just to show how mad he really is!
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