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A contest of strength, skill, and honor in which two [competitors] press their anuses firmly together and attempt to force their log into the others rectum. Victory is achieved when one participant's poop lance pushes the other's back the cave from whence it came, where it is joined by the winner's gleaming brown champion turd. A [stalemate] occurs when the two mahogany butt-trees meet and neither participant's anus yields, resulting in a general sideways pancake-like [distribution] of waste.
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