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The Three Laws of Grant Sex are a set of laws that define the limits and possibilities of Grant Sex. They are as follows:

Law, the first: At least one of the two partners in the act of Grant Sex MUST be a Grant as defined in the second law. The non-Grant (or if both partners are Grants, then both partners) partner must NOT stop until the Grant is completely satisfied and has experienced an orgasm, or until the Grant has told the partner to halt.

Law, the second: The Grant must be within strict guidelines, these guidelines include and are NOT restricted to(can be changed at any time): The Grant MUST be a male Homo sapiens; the Grant must be of at least 20% German heritage; the Grant must meet at least 50% of the criteria of either Type I, Type II, or Type III Grants. If they do not meet these guidelines, or if they meet these guidelines then for more than 2 months in a row do not meet them again, they shall NOT be called Grant and are NOT allowed to have Grant Sex with a real Grant.

Law, the third: The Grant has the absolute final say in whether they will have Grant Sex with another Homo sapiens. The Grant will be respected and, if disrespected, all federal, state, and ethical laws have lost influence and the Grant may do whatever he chooses without consequence; for a maximum of 45 seconds.

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