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Intellectuals are those who:

- Enjoy art and literature nobody else cares about, and think they are superior to everyone else because of it
- Believe education should serve some undefined "higher purpose" than preparing people for the real world
- Claim that language is a beautiful art form rather than a means of communication
- Love to argue that capitalism is evil despite having no [understanding] of basic economics
- Dream of living anywhere but where they actually do live; usually a far less affluent society
- Believe that our own society is degrading or becoming a [cultural wasteland], because people would rather watch TV than go see a play written in the 1600's
- Are the most fiery supporters of evolution, yet dislike people who pursue their evolutionary desires
- Convince themselves to hate parties and sports to cover up their lack of social/athletic ability
- Can't stand the idea of leaving their tiny bubble that is academia
- Believe that anyone who enjoys sports must be a mindless jock with the IQ of a gorilla
- Love to advertise how much they "think for themselves," yet somehow always agree with each other on everything

[Not to be confused with] the word "intelligent"

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