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A species of teenager who have fathers that have vans full of chocolate. (Contary to popular belief their fathers are not dirty paedophiles who like to rape 5 year [old] girls.)

There are 2 varieties of Pownall, both very different from the other:

The DTW Pownall - usually tall and geeky with long legs. Commonly found in possession of small children watching Toy Story while engaging in sexual activities with [blackberries]. Despite the lack of knowledge when it comes to the clitoris, it has been revealed that this particular variety of Pownall enjoy [masturbation] and pleasuring themselves. This is the more approachable of the 2 Pownall varieties as it can hold a decent [conversation]. Beware though, do not be too friendly towards a DTW Pownall as it can result in stalking and occasional humiliation. When befriended, the DTW Pownall will allow you to keep it as a pet*, making a very good alarm clock.

The Jack Pownall - normally found to be more [aesthetically pleasing] than the DTW Pownall, however this come at a price. It has been revealed that the Jack Pownall's brain's is 99.846532% mush, making them only capable of doing sport and occassionally talking shit.

Overall, Pownalls are a very diverse species. It is recommended that people avoid the Jack variety at all costs, whereas the DTW Pownall can be approached with care.

*if kept as a pet must be fed ham sandwiches, oranges and chewits twice daily.

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