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Ted is a well known clown who resides in [New York city]. He can be found [hanging out] with teenagers despite the fact that he is nearing senior citizenship. His haircut is commonly referred to as "The Ted". Witnesses have claimed that it resembles a botched lobotomy. You too can sport "The Ted", just go to your local barber, ask him to shave the sides of your head, and hit you [in the back] of the head with a ice pick a few times.
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