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A rare creature of monumental [awesomeness]. Their ninja-like mastery of stealth means that they are rarely seen in public, although large numbers of them are rumoured to reside in [Robert Downey] Jr's dressing rooms. Legend has it that they can be summoned by disguising one's self as Jake Gyllenhaal and hopping half-naked through a cornfield at midnight to the sound of Coldplay's Clocks. Reportedly have ties with both MI5 and the KGB; their small stature and seemingly harmless nature make them ideal for [infiltration] ops.
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