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Sexually redemptive tenets laid out by Lord Anaconda The Whip, possessor of "The Wand of Forgiveness"

1) Woman, thou shalt suckle hungrily upon thy man's rigid cock, as if it were thy only source of nourishment.

2) Woman, thou shalt be attentive to the balls, lest they grow cold and melacholy.

3) Woman, though shalt pump the shaft with thy hand as with thy [lotion bottle] when very nearly empty.

4. Woman, when thy lover's [cock spasms] and erupts the nourishing, nectarous, pearly white cum to annoint thy face and mouth, thou shalt gulp it down eagerly, as an old [alcoholic] woman gulps Bailey's [Irish Cream]...for therein lay your salvation!

5. Woman, thou shalt gently kiss and lick thy lover's cock as it shrinks flacidly--for to suck vigorously as before is likely to tickle the sensitive, shrinking pipe-organ.

6. Woman, when engulfing the shaft with thine seething pussy, though shalt moan as if thou art being split in twain with it's massive orgasm-inducing prowess, and then whimper as if helpless before it's mighty shaft.

7. Woman, thou shalt eagerly offer thy lover [butthole pleasures], the sooner after beginning dating, the better, that the alluringly forbidden backdoor loving not become an unmentionable taboo. Verily, no condom must bar the way, for the hot nutmilk to penetrate deeply into thine ass, for your pleasure.

"THESE ARE THE SEVEN NUTSACRAMENTS I HAVE GIVEN THEE TO HEED AND EMBODY, IN FULFILLMENT OF THE PROPHECY!!!" - Lord Anaconda The Whip

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