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Latin Name: Homo Smarmus

Typically found inhabiting Eastern [North] America, the Homo Smarmus is a rare and distinct [individual].

They tend to favor indoor habitats where microwavable meals, XBox, and online chatrooms denouncing the [intelligence] of others are near at hand.

Physical Appearance: A material covering with a striped pattern (Scientists currently studying Homo Smarmus are developing a theory which states that this might be some form of tribal garb) usually coloured green and poo-brown is essential. The left forelimb is permanently extended upwards, and shoulders hunched.

A unique grunt is the natural call of the Homo Smarmus. One might liken it to a cough, when broken down it sounds like "Ahhh-hack-hack-hack-hack-ughhh". However, while it is found loud and [irritating] to those near to the Homo Smarmus, it does not travel well, making it difficult for one Homo Smarmus to warn others about the presence of someone who has a low bullshit tolerance.

Those who have studied this species closely advise others to keep their distance as there may be longterm side effects which could potentially lead to:
sensitivity of eyes to light
stunting of growth (in children)
swelling of feet or lower legs
vomiting
headache
muscle cramps
[hallucinations]
mental [depression]
mood swings
skin rash or hives
hiccups
wounds that will not heal
increased sweating
indigestion

Please also note that these side effects are similar to those of IBD.

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