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A [morbidly obese] [gargantuan], barely discernable as a member of the human species; closely related to the water dwelling beast indigenous to the African continent, but with [the power] of speech, and a penchant for processed foods, bad hygiene and Yoo-hoo as opposed to melons and leafy greens. Will kill unwitting individuals who impede access to foods, compete for desired foods, or appear to be foods themselves.
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