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In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and [productivity] from members, it will be our policy to keep all members well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T)

We are trying to give our members more S.H.I.T than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please see your Duke. You will be [immediately] placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and our Vice Dukes are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.H I.T. you can handle.

Members who don't take S H I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMERGENCY EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T).

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to EXTRA ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T). Since our Vice Dukes took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T already. If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be [interested] in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC [UNDERSTANDING] LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T).

For members who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL [OPERATIONAL] RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T).

Thank you.

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