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An anchor is usually– but not exclusively– that super awkward guy that nobody likes or that fugly two-ton birth-defect of a grenade with an obnoxious [personality], who try to “tag on.” The anchor makes it impossible to get in anywhere and frequently misses the hint that he/she/it is not welcome.

The bro version of an anchor is the guy who throws off the girl/guy ratio just enough to keep you from [getting into] frats. His laugh is choppy, piercing, and poorly timed. Hey douche, go [wack off] to anime. Guys if you're reading this and can't relate, you're it. Sorry.

There are several types of women anchors. First, the typical grenade. Fucked up hair, corn teeth, like a character from [The Hills Have Eyes], ya dig? Second is the girl who is slightly too ugly to fuck who takes 4 hours [getting ready] and then cockblocks you the entire night. Third is the clingy alcoholic twig who blacks out after 3 shots. Consequently your night is ruined, especially after she ralphs on your Ralph Lauren jeans. Always an easy fuck, never a good decision. Gross.

Anchors are constantly holding you down. They always seem to be leaving the building simultaneously, are never a contributing factor toward your fun, and would shrivel up and die if ripped from the leach-like grasp they've sank into your nuts for social-life-support. In any anchor situation, you want to treat them like an actual anchor– by tying a rope around their neck and throwing them off the side of a boat.

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