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The only good thing about males. It hides in their [nether regions] and the best specimen are sometimes gifted to entirely the wrong men. Luring out this timid but strong beast takes only a smile and some alcohol. Taming it requires further advanced study, though sometimes they won't let you. Do not detach a penis from its male, and if you see a [lonely penis] without a home, quickly find [King] Missile to return it. Penises commonly live in deep forests of hair or on barren patches of supple skin. They are commonly found with their symbiotic companion, balls. Penises should have a diet of fruit and [vegetables] so to make their ejaculation taste better, but they don't, because their males are dumb and not very giving. Some penises prefer the company of other penises, some prefer the company of a vagina, and some like both. Do not freeze your penis, stick it anywhere it might get hurt, feed it to bears, or feed it after midnight, lest it magically transform into a gremlin.
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