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The standing ovation everybody gives at the end of every performance, from the New York Philharmonic to the 6th grade orchestra concert. A sure sign that your performance was as good as people expected it to be, but nothing to have a conversation about the following week.

The clearest indication that you're getting a standard ovation and not a true standing o is if one person, usually a parent, gets up first, and then the people around them, realizing they might be accused of being less supportive, groan inwardly and stand up. This proceeds in a wave effect throughout the hall. Another good way to tell you're just getting a standard ovation is that the old people don't stand up, because they don't give a fuck about stroking other people's ego anymore.

Most people are aware of the standard ovation effect, but unfortunately we can't go back to just applauding, because now it's not good enough.

There is no way to tell if you're getting a real ovation, because I don't want people to ruin that too.

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