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Guts + hurting = Gurting. Caused by: Greasy food, excessive boozing, PMSing, stress, [chinese food], high fiber diets, lots and lots of apples, nervousness, improper use of anal beads, enemas, laxatives, too many Fiber One bars, phenolphthalein, prunes and prune juice, food poisoning, long [distance running], cholera, and any combination of said inducers Symptoms: Stomach achy, crampy, gassy, guts rolling, [uncomfortable], afraid to fart. Leads to: frequent bathroom trips, piss-ass, burning butthole and an all around shitty day. CAUTION: If you are expecting to gurt, DO NOT WEAR THONG UNDERWEAR. I will only further the pain of the barking butthole. Also, playing touch tag with your underwear is truly a dangerous game on gurt days.
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