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Short, stocky little people with big noses, beards, blue tunics, and red pointy hats. Once related to dwarves but got much shorter and weirder. During a war with goblins, when the dwarves were having a box shortage, the gnomes went off to look for a better life. [Unfortunately], many were captured and made as slaves, tending the gardens of dumb suburban people. Some managed to escape, only to be eeking out a living in the woods and living in burrow-like homes, like those of hobbits. Worse yet, they had been cursed by an evil tract-house developer to freeze into a clay form when a human sees them. Despite this, they are occasionally stolen by certain creepy [french girls]. Lately, a few gnomes were free of the curse and appear to be traveling [around the world], sending back silly postcards with their mugs on them. Sadly, one gnome was crushed to death by a 2000 pound ball of baked pizza dough covered with melted cheese. A wrongful-death lawsuit with the Domino's Pizza Corporation is pending.

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