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Better list of religious versions:

Taoism	Shit happens. Confucianism	Confucius say, "Shit happens." Buddhism	If shit happens, it isn't really shit. Zen Buddhism	What is the sound of shit happening? Hinduism	This shit happened before. Mormonism	This shit is going to happen again. Islam	If shit happens, it is the Will of Allah. Stoicism	This shit is its own reward. Protestantism	Let this shit happen to someone else. Calvinism	Shit happens because you don't work hard enough. Pentecostalism	In Jesus' name, heal this shit! Catholicism	Shit happens because you deserve it. Judaism	Why does this shit always happen to us? Zoroastrianism	Shit happens half the time. Marxism	This shit is going to hit the fan. Atheism	No shit. Seventh Day Adventist	No shit on Saturdays. Existentialism	Absurd shit. Agnosticism	What is this shit? Nihilism	Who gives a shit? Deconstruction	Shit happens in hegemonic meta-narratives. Christian Science	Shit is in your mind. Moonies	Only happy shit really happens. Jehovah's Witnesses	Knock, Knock, shit happens. Scientology	Shit happens on page 152 of Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard Hare Krishna	Shit happens, Rama Rama. Hedonism	There's nothing like a good shit happening. Rastafarianism	Let's smoke this shit.

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