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1) A person who is selfish and behaves like an idiot 2) A person who is greedy with their [masturbatory] habits. A selfish wanker will steal a communal porn collection, steal the only box of tissues remaining in the house, even steal a picture of your own dear mother to wank over. They care nothing for the feelings or [masturbation] plans of others. They will even turn up late to meetings and dates because of their five [knuckle shuffling], but will never ever call and explain the delay. Wanking will always come first to these people. A truly selfish wanker will even prefer the touch of their own hairy palm to the touch of another human being.
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