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A rare species of mammal that lives exclusively on [community college] campuses. It is roughly seven feet tall, with a large hump in its back. This bipedal hominid has long, scraggly facial hair, which usually has bits of sandwich in it (from whence it's common name is derived; its [scientific name] is Sandwichus beardicus). Several species of bird nest in its unkempt facial hair, and it cares for this colony tenderly, so that it can feast upon them at a later date. This "farming" method may denote some semblance of [intelligence], though its mental capacities are dubious, as the creature seems to have invested over ten thousand dollars of its own money in a bad mermaid movie.
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