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Testicles come in few shapes, more sizes and even more levels of [maintenance] and cleanliness. Balls have been arranged into categories by people who care about what they put in their mouths. They are defined as follows Category 1- The [creme de la creme] of bollocks. Tight, defuzzed, cleaned with some kind of soap and good sized. Category 2- Trimmed, wiped with a wet flannel and either slightly large or slightly small. A slight smell of sweat is OK, terrible smell will shunt you down to category 4. Category 3- Untamed, lynxed to within an inch of their lives, size indistinguishable under the 'fro. Category 4- Scrotum appears to have space for at least 4 more testicles, overpowering rank scent of stale sweat and ignorant of all hair removal methods. Category 5- Alien nards. [Something weird] or horrifying, like an extra one, or ropey veins all over.
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