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Mass Useless Messaging Syndrome If you are ugly, have no friends, and cannot adequately conduct yourself in social situations, then you will seek out acceptance via non-personal forms of [communication] to construct a facade to dupe passers-by that you do have friends based on the number of [vibrations] one receives after sending multiple short messages hoping for the same number of responses, ergo the same number of vibrations-an audible symbol many associate with [friendship].
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