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Famous for her deceitfully charming wit and amazing ass, Chelsie will get you to fall in love with her and then steal your soul. She claims to have been born in 1989 but she can be seen in Greek, Norse, and Celtic Mythology, among others. Many cultures have come up with ways to explain the Chelsie Phenomenon, often counting their experiences as an encounter with a succubus, siren, or femme fatale. No, this was Chelsie. Chelsie can be found around -computers with idiot-proof [operating systems] -shitty poetry -insensitive jokes -recycling bins -sunblock If you fear an encounter with Chelsie, note that she can be warded off with non-kosher foods (though she is not Jewish) or [neutralized] with small amounts of alcohol. Do not try to use violence against her as this will only excite her more. Never attempt to pursue a [relationship] with Chelsie. She will lead you on for a week and then leave with your soul.
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