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A television show that is at the forefront of the downfall of American society. Recent studies have shown that The Hills has aided in the existence of 100 million pointless arguments per day, most often occurring between teen to early twenty year old females who relate to the devastating issues a filthy rich, uneducated, ignorant person from "the hills" of California experiences. Anthropologists agree that this detriment to society could have been avoided through the use of logic and reasoning in communication, something the producers and actors of The Hills take pride in lacking. The study released the following warning signs for parents and friends who have not yet been stricken with the mental retardation that occurs after viewing only one episode:

1. After using words like integral, ionic, colloquial, the female has glossy eyes followed by an abysmal stare and possible fainting.

2. The female has moved to heavier programs (known as reality mainlining) such as The Jersey Shore or Rock of Love.

3. During programs like Family Guy or Breaking Bad the female avoids the television and logs on to facebook.

If you know of someone with these symptoms you should consult your local library using similar tactics Reggie from The Basketball Diaries used to help Leonardo DiCaprio kick heroin.

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