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Freeze a log of feces. Enter a 69 position, with the woman on bottom and man on top. The man uses his hands to plow the woman [vaginally] or anally with the frozen log while she gives him a [rusty trombone] (i.e., giving a rim job while performing a hand job). When the man reaches climax, he turns into a position in which he can jizz on his lover's face while slapping her [in the face] with the soggy poopsicle.
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