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Are you tired of cooking [breakfast], doing the yard work, and having your sexual urges satisfied? if so this is [the thing] for you! [first take] your best wood cutting axe (the bigger the better!) and stick it firmly in your wife's anus, then have her cut the wood with her anus. at the same time she will be cooking your pancakes, and because every good housewife is a multi-tasker she will also be gargling your man sausage. so enjoy!
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