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An amazing [technological] solution for people with too much stuff and too little bacon. The ultimate example of American innovation, the Bacon Ray uses science to transform anything and [everything] into piles of mouth-watering perfectly prepared bacon. the [manufacturer] warns that use of the bacon ray may cause sudden weight gain, alarmingly high cholesterol, coronary artery disease, and in frequent cases sudden death. Also the act of using said device to transform some unappreciated object into a pile of bacon.
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