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Before this sex act begins, the man spends an hour cementing maple syrup onto his penis to add bulk. The woman assumes a headstand and begins performing fellatio [on the man] while he shoves a moose antler up the woman's vagina as far as he can. The woman then gets on her knees as the man uses an antique rifle from [the war of 1812] to fire a rubber rod up the woman's anus. The man then shoves various Canadian currency up the woman's vagina and fills her mouth with moose droppings while several other men masturbate into a Stanley Cup. After they ejaculate, the semen is used to draw a [Canadian Flag] onto the woman's back.
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