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Silicon Valley syndrome (noun): Silicon Valley syndrome, or SVS, is a collection of personality traits and physical characteristics specific to individuals residing around the [San Francisco Bay Area]. The effects of SVS are often confused for autism or Helen Keller.

*Do you tend to over-analyze everything in your life to such an extent that you've chosen to become a life-long academic in order to justify your obsessive behavior? This might [include] instances of spending hours at the [grocery store] while agonizing over the metaphysical benefits of chunky [peanut butter] or two-ply toilet paper.

*Are you overly sensitive to caffeine substances like coffee, Redbull or chocolate-dipped pretzels? Is your knee still bouncing?

*Do you make over $75,000 a year yet still find yourself wearing Vans/New Balance shoes and graphic t-shirts at work and during your free-time?

*Do you shun traditional social gatherings that require that you interact with non-intellectual scum (read: non-academics that have 9-5's and/or lowly humanity degrees) and that requires that you shave/brush your teeth/switch out one Stanford sweatshirt for another?

*Do you have multiple food/pet/medication allergies that require you to keep an EpiPen in the glovebox of your leased Accord?

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