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To perform a proper Canada's History, you will need one each of the following: balloon, gerbil, Canadian transvestite, hockey stick, maple leaf, (2) homosexual males, wide mouthed maple syrup bottle (half full), large funnel and family sized tub of Vaseline.

Engage in vaginal sex with the transvestite using the hockey stick (with whichever end floats your boat) hard enough to induce vaginal flatulence (queef) and using your mouth, capture these "queefs" and transfer them to the balloon until it is softball sized. Using the funnel and as much Vaseline as necessary (read: possible) insert the gerbil and balloon, in that order, into Homosexual A's ass. Have homosexual B (to prevent a Hate Crime) strike Homosexual A in the lower abdomen with the hockey stick with sufficient force to puncture the balloon causing the keistered gerbil to asphyxiate on the contents of that balloon.

Excrete the contents of Homosexual A's rectum onto the maple leaf. Discard the punctured balloon. Wrap the gerbil securely in the maple leaf and deposit into the half full, wide mouthed maple syrup jar. Let stand 4-6 hours, serve warm over pancakes.

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