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Paul: meaning 'humble' in latin. P= Perfect A= Aweseome U= Unique L=Legend. Paul is probably the coolest guy around but he wont tell you that. He is the kinda of guy you want by your side when fighting off an army of 10,000 pygmies with poisen arrows. He can tell you what colour your underwear is by looking into your eyes. He is wanted in three countries by the authorities. He is wanted in 162 countries by most women. He can eat a [cheeseburger] in 1 bite. He can lick his own elbow and other peoples too. Scientists have said that he is so hot that he may be the main reason for [global warming]. His shit doesn't stink, in fact it smells like car polish. He was refused entry to the USA because his biceps were classed [weapons of mass destruction]. He is in the guiness book of world records for completing the most somersaults in a row (126,253). We spends: Mondays at orphanages, Tuesdays at homeless shelters, Wednesdays at retirement homes, Thursdays developing a cure for AIDS, Fridays playing racquet ball with Bono and Sting and Weeknds writing prize winning novels.

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