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The harpsichord is used for [making music], but [historically], it has had other uses as well:

1. In 1723, Hungarian cellist Lazlo Pook removed a harpsichord from its' stand and used the instrument as an improptu cheese press.

2. During severe flooding in Venice, Italy, in 1756, countless lives were saved by Venetian harpsichordists, who paddled their instruments through turbulent canals and pulled people (excluding cellists) from the rising waters.

3. In 1792, Swiss musician Hans Fischer became the first person in history to slide down the Matterhorn on a harpsichord, triggering however a tragic avalanche. This engulfed a gathering of cellists assembled in a park in front of the Frau Kirche, an ancient church in the formerly lovely alpine town of Dibbleheim.

4. During [the War of 1812], French troops [discovered] to their horror that freezing Muscovites had kept warm by burning their old harpsichords. When this was reported to the Emperor Napoleon, he made his now famous remark, "Etes diable vous parlant?"

5. When the ill-fated ship Titanic was sinking in 1912, an antique harpsichord, purchased in Europe by millionaire Benjamin Guggenheim, was thrown overboard by the ship's cellist, Roger Bricoux. This unexpectedly saved the life of noted [international] bon vivant and fan dancer, Hettie (Va-voom) Mackelroy, who floated upon it safely until she was able to fan herself in the direction of a larger and more buoyant Steinway grand.

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