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[The most beautiful] viking goddess from the furthermost peaks of Valhalla, [descending] to the Earth in a celestial formation. Upon the blackest wings she rides shredding [Death Metal] solos as she makes her descent. Once upon arrival all Metalheads will bow in envy and those who deny her will be slain with the mightiest of blows. Her presence will blind those who are unworthy of her sight.
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