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An object of great power, exuding mucho mojo due to its Austin Powers-like kitschy [geekiness]. This item is highly sought after for its ability to bring great strength to bear on [practically] any situation, for its capacity to bring about either harmony or radical change, and for the enormous [sexual energy] either lost due to conquest by it or bestowed upon those lucky enough to conquer it. The Freedom Tray is all-powerful...
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