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The Cheesy Hotel Painting Spider is an relatively misunderstood spider that may challenge Clock Spider's and Limecat's role of God to all.

The Cheesy Hotel Painting Spider was in fact once captured and released back into the wild.

The tale begins after a family returned back to their hotel room in Cabo San Lucas after a long day of snorkeling and saying "no" to shady individuals who wanted to sell locally crafted merchandise that was really made in China.

All of a sudden, a spider emerged from behind a Cheesy Hotel Painting with the swiftness of a something [really really] REALLY fast, the ferocity of a [rhinoceros] protecting her calf, and using tactics usurping those of the Bushmen of the Kalahari.

After the Spider appeared from a Cheesy Hotel Painring the Father and Son swiftly made weapons, arming themselves with a rubbermaid trash can, a brightly colored beach towel, and Drew Carey's book, [Dirty Jokes] and Beer.

As the surf pounded the cliffs below, a colony of seagulls cried out like a symphony of organs in D minor. One could smell the crisp sent of the [anticipation] of the starting of a battle of epic and legendary proportions.

Everyone peed, just a little.

After many minutes, maybe even a dozen minutes, well certainly more than ten, but not more than [fifteen minutes], the spider was captured in the trash can and then released outside the hotel room where it pounced once, twice, then thrice into the devilish night.

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